I don’t like uncertainty.  Uncertainty makes me feel insecure.  And when I am faced with uncertainty regarding anything that holds significant weight in my life, I feel driven to efforts to create certainty.  Unfortunately, my tendency here is to prefer a negative certainty over the tolerance of a mix of negative and positive possibilities.  I have often been willing to sacrifice positive potential in order to quench the anxiety. This is what I must not do.  I can feel whatever I feel, but I must not act to replace ambiguous possibilities with negative certainties.  That’s what self sabotaging is all about to me.  I am striving instead to choose to pursue risks that will keep my world growing, instead of small, safe, and ultimately unfulfilling.